While I’m currently 34 weeks along with my first baby (yay!), the journey to getting here has not always been easy and today I’d like to share my story with you. First, here’s a brief overview of what PCOS is.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom is a very common hormonal disorder in females. It stems from the woman’s body not being able to ovulate on a monthly basis. Due to this hormonal disorder, females with PCOS have a harder time becoming pregnant. For a more in-depth explanation of PCOS, click here for a great rundown from the experts!
At the age of 17, I was diagnosed with PCOS and though it didn’t worry me as much at such a young age, I did go through my teen years with that diagnosis living in the shadows. At 17 I was not ready to plan a family but becoming a Mom was something I knew in my heart I was meant to be one day.
Fast forward to the age of 24 when my fiancee and I were 7 years into our relationship. We decided to start a family and this is where my struggle began. I met with many specialists and while they were all comforting and educated in their field, I was prescribed hormonal medication after hormonal medication with no sign of improvement. This was my medical routine for 3 years. My appetite along with my weight fluctuated. I experienced a rollercoaster of mood swings (and let me just tell you, they’re NOT as fun as the real deal!) and I became increasingly stressed and hopeless with every failed and passing treatment.
That is until one miraculous day when we found out that we were finally expecting!
I had experienced none of the usual early pregnancy symptoms and had gone into the ER with severe abdominal pain. They’re not fun but boy are they reassuring that everything is going well!. This chapter of our lives ended with a miscarriage at 6 weeks. We. Were. Devastated. My fiancee felt helpless and I felt guilty. Together, we felt like our only chance had slipped right through our fingers.
Out of desperation from feeling utterly teased, we continued to try to conceive and after another year of doing so unsuccessfully, we decided to take a deep breath and step back. The joy of trying had been long gone and doing so felt like watching paint dry. We begin to drift apart and that’s when we knew it was time to let go. We have always been the very best of friends. We find home in each other and when that started to change, we took it as a wake-up call.
At that point, we had been in a relationship for close to 10 years and had been engaged for 4 of them. We decided to dive into wedding planning and we did so wholeheartedly.
We chose our bridal party, we found the perfect entertainment and we even booked our dream wedding venue! After 2 months into our wedding planning, I woke up one day not feeling quite like myself. We had enjoyed a delicious sushi filled dinner the night before so I pinned it to a pending full belly!
Later in the day I became very ill at work and decided to play it safe and headed to the ER. A few hours later we found out that we were expecting again and were 6 weeks along. Though it was where we were during our first pregnancy, there was a subliminal sense of hope in both of us this time around that we just couldn’t explain (parental instinct?)
I’m now 34 weeks along with our little Peanut and though neither my doctors nor we have an explanation about how this happened successfully (I do still have PCOS), it’s a gift we treasure above all else.
Some women live a lifetime without becoming Mothers due to PCOS. Some are truly blessed to conceive despite having it and I count my blessings every single day that I’ve fallen in the latter group.
I tended to become aggravated, saddened and frustrated when friends and family would reassure me by telling me that it would happen when we stopped caring. I felt misunderstood and couldn’t wrap my mind around not caring. To any of you living and battling with PCOS, rest assured that I sit here today living proof and utterly convinced that when we let go and follow the universe’s timing instead of ours, miracles do happen.
If you have fought this battle, I’d love to hear your story. What worked for you? What steps did you take that resulted in a complete turn around for your journey?
PCOS is not addressed as much as it should be on social platforms so feeling alone is common and natural. My aim for sharing my story is to reassure others that they are not.
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